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21
Feb
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2
SepRawr..
Last night was the first night in four months that I haven’t slept next to Scott, it sucked royally because he wasn’t there it was cold and just plain miserable.. I HATE IT!!! Rawr we just need to get a place of own so that we can be together and not have to continuously worry about stepping on peoples toes because one of is with the other one and thats not where we actually live so people get all butt hurt and say leave.. I woke up at the time that Scott usually gets up to go to work and then i couldn’t go back to sleep because i didn’t get my kisses and regular good morning its like almost 7 pm not and i haven’t seen him since almost ten last night.. and he called me while i was at josh and kyle’s and i wont see him at all tonight because he is gonna be busy doing runs till about midnight and since i have to work tomorrow it doesn’t make since for me to be exhausted for work so i will just have to wait and see him tomorrow which is gonna suck to because i have to work ubber early Saturday morning and tomorrow is Friday which is his typical overly busy day to make runs and such.. I hate it but I have to make it through somehow… Plus I feel better now.. after my concerns with Scott not being really so into me Kyle reassured me by telling me that he told Scott that he has also heard a lot of people say that Scott is going to break up with me and Scott said Hell no she’s a keeper.. I felt so much better after hearing that.. it’s such a releif to know he does actually care and wants to stay with me and now I’m confident my relationship status is not gonna be single anytime soon.. hopefully never again..
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30
AugScared..
I could completely fall off the face of the earth and no one would ever know where I am but the point is I dont want to, I’m perfectly happy, safe and content where I am. I have the open option few others have to completely start over with a new job, place to live, people who know nothing about me and I could totally start from scratch but I wont I’ve become overly attached to Scott like scaring me to death because I feel like I’m falling in love with him and I’m afraid of slipping just once out of line and losing everything. Plus i know but wont accept the fact that Scott isn’t where I am in out relationship I mean I just for the first time heard him call me his girlfriend just the other day. Its scary because it seems like I’m just a small not necessary part of his life he would lose very little if anything went wrong and we went our separate ways. I mean I feel like my entire life centers around him and I’m the one who made it that way and I’ve neglected so many people and on the other hand gained a ton more I feel like my life has chanced for the better but sometimes I question that I dont know what to do anymore but I have to continue living so I’ll just take each day as it comes and hope for the best
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25
MarThe Lonely Joker
The man that hides his feelings behind the painted face,
no one can understand the pain the joker has to brace,
he has a gift to make people laugh, cherish and smile,
so he puts on a charade, cracks a joke, for that is his lifestyle,
But who is the joker deep inside, the cure for all the frowns?
but that’s not how people see him, all they see is a clown,
after every show the joker goes home, he cries himself to bed,
does it make u wonder? what goes on inside his head?
Is this all the joker’s life? is this how he’s suppose to live?
lonely and miserable, feelings shielded and captive?
but why you ask? why does he live this way?
cause no one makes him laugh or smile, no one to make his day,
For that’s all the joker craves, someone to fill his void,
just like any other lonely soul he wants to be enjoyed,
but that’s the jokers job, its suppose to be his fate,
such a lonely joker, a man with no soul mate. -
24
MarThis Dream
What can I give you
that you don’t already deserve?
You are all I want to see
so, why so I turn?
Shatter my emotions, take them all away
All my life I’ve tried
All my life I’ve failed
I promise to stand by your side
from here to eternity
As we begin to understand
it is are hearts that define
What has meaning in life.
By inability to understand
When I wake from this dream
Will you still be here?
Will your smile still open up my heart?
Knowing you has shown me beauty
I’ve tried so hard not to wake from this dream…
only to realize I never fell asleep. -
24
Mar".When I Die Will They Remember Not I Did, But What I Haven’t Done."
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24
Mar".But Seldom Do These Words Ring True, When I’m Constantly Failing You. Like Walls That We Just Can’t Break Through, Until We Disappear."
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24
Mar".Like The Angel That You Are, You Laugh Creating A Lightness In My Chest."
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24
Mar".Don’t Close Your Eyes, What If It All Disappears In The Shadows That Reach From The Stars?"
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24
Mar"If My Hand Could Block The Sun, Would We Ever Wake Up? And If I Turn Back All These Clocks, Would That Be Time Enough?"
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22
MarYou Should Know
that you’re just a temporary fix
This is not rooted with you
it don’t mean that much to me
You’re just a filler in the space that happened to be free
How dare you think you’d get away with trying to play me yeaaay -
15
Mar -
15
MarHope Tattoo
Designed as a representation of the important flaws in life. It represents a constantly changing
heart, cautiously guarded, yet equally open to new experiences. It represents my constant love
for life, a desire to share my heart with others, and is a reminder that with every transition in
life - comes a great opportunity for personal growth. -
15
Mar"looking into the stars every night, is as close to touching my dreams as I can possibly get.."
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15
Mar"Swinging is as close as I’ll get to flying without machine."
